a `peace' of me

it was such a dreary afternoon.

i actually felt lazy for the most part of the day.

tho' i really felt lousy, got peace of mind. the quietness has actually set my tranquil mood. my mind is clearer than yesterday.

well, maybe 'cuz the pressure was easen up a bit. i do not have to think of what to say nor do i have to make myself feel okay so we could talk both in a sane manner.

we've been in a cold war... and i don't even know where the relationship actually stands at this point.

if my feelings were to be the sole basis, consider that i'm calling it quits. part of the passion was actually fading by the day and each time we come across each other, i just lose the same tenderness inside me.

i can't actually point out at what circumstance the feelings started fizzling out.

i just know i have lost the so-called `appetite' to continue with the relationship. First, it has started getting in the way of my master plan: meaning my goals. Second, i have lost trust that this is going to be lasting. and lastly, he is no longer sure if this relationship is worth his effort and time.

so, what to do in this case?

i have thought hard about it the past few days. and the best answer is just to lose or kill the feelings.

it's not worth it. i have got priorities and he knew it in the first place before he started courting me. another thing is, he is no longer content and happy with the quality time we spend together.

Giving in to his demands would only get my goals compromised.

i could not allow that, ever.

and if he is not meant to stay, then let God do the rest.

He knows what's best for the both of us.

so i guess, this time, i'm giving up and letting go.

and i know that this time, i'm doing the right thing.