reaLity biteS

i've read a letter posted in our office bulletin board today. it was an officemate's who is having a bout with cancer, lymphoma to be exact. and getting face to face with such life's realities gets me down sometimes.

i mean, i am too much of an idealist, and it gets the best of me sometimes. well, i am well-grounded. just that, i have yet to outgrow the idealism in me. and such encounter always makes me sad.

my view of the world is nothing like what it really is. i always think that life is beautiful and the world is a beautiful place to live in. i forgot to include the adversities in the process. but i know too well that it is somewhat flawed.

seeing the different faces of reality really gets me down: homeless people living in the streets; people who dig into garbage bins for something to eat; people who can't go to school; people who live by taking odd jobs such as being prostitutes; people who have gone out of their wits, and remained as such with nobody taking care of them; people who live near dumpsites, living by selling scraps and discards, trying to stand the stench, dirt and grime of garbage.

meaningless questions often pop in my head seeing such things. why can't we live happily, minus incurable illnesses? can't we live in peace, just like how we wish to be? are we not supposed to be here to be happy?

my officemate is too young to have cancer. she has given birth to a baby boy a year ago and it is heart-wrenching to think she's into this situation. is it the environment? our lifestyle?

i dunno. maybe there aren't always reasons for everything. it simply is, period. but just the same, it breaks my heart. just last year, the mother of an ex-bf died of breast cancer. and this year, Francis M passed away because of cancer.

i know. our lives were never ours in the first place. these were God-given. but just the same, i can't help but feel sad. all i can do now is pray for her, that she's gonna survive cancer for the sake of her baby.

faLLin' again..(pero di pwede!)

is it possible getting attracted to someone 12 years your senior?

i dunno. seems he's quite old for me. pero eto ha, andami naming similarities na i believe would get us mentally connected. kumbaga sa music and lyrics, our relationship would be like a song. there would be a meeting of the minds and souls, naks!

but seriously, here are the things na feeling ko, would get us in tune with each other:

pareho kami fan ng horror movies; sobrang family-oriented xa, meaning, close sa family. parang aq, i could not imagine myself without my family or malau sa kanila.

strong ang faith nia. di naman aq sing devout nia na catholic, pero when it comes to faith, pareho kaming God-fearing. my talent xa in dancing, just like me. we are both homebodies. he loves movies, whether dvd or sa cinemas and he loves eating and cooking. so similar with the things i love doing talaga. we are both artists, pati professions na gusto, similar din. he is also a novelist, aq aspiring pa lang, hehe.

haay..kaso teacher q xa. tho he is single and good-looking, pde kaya un? hirap naman. pero when i'm in class, kinikilig kilig naman, haha!

secret na nga lang, hmp!