Tuesday, December 19, 2006

gettin' oveR...and m0vin' on..


people come into our lives for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME.

when we know which one it is, we will know what to do for that person.

when someone is in our lives for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need we have expressed. they have come to assist us through a difficulty, to provide us with guidance and support, to aid us physically, emotionally or spiritually. they may seem like a godsend and they are. they are there for the reason we need them to be. then, without any wrongdoing on our part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. sometimes they die. sometimes they walk away. sometimes they act up and force us to take a stand. what we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. the prayer we sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

some people come into our lives for a SEASON, because our turn has come to share, grow or learn. they bring us an experience of peace or make us laugh. they may teach us something we have never done. they usually give us an unbelievable amount of joy. believe it, it is real, but only for a season.


LIFETIME relationships teach us lifetime lessons, things we must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. our job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what we have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of our lives. it is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

... and to you who came for a REASON, thank you for being a part of my life.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

indecisiVe

could not arrive to the wisest decision to what seems to be the most difficult question in my entire career life.

the entrance exam will be in two days and my head is still in clouds.

i know i want that prestigious profession, and the fortune that comes with it. but the real question is, am i up to the challenge?

would it make me happy? and am i really interested doing such kind of work? do i love doing something that is stressful all year long?

i always knew i wanna be in the creative world being a right-brained person. my inclination to the arts tells me so. but the thing is, how much time do i have to pursue what i really love?

so, what now? prestige or fulfillment?

well, i'm gonna cross the bridge when i get there.

i have not yet taken the exam anyway.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

greaT things happeN to th0se wh0 waiT

i'm kinda overwhelmed with joy today.

everything was never expected. after breaking my back working my ass off to make ends meet (course, i was exaggerating. it wasn't that desperate *wink*), God finally came to my rescue.

in a month, i have been complaining about all the bills i'm paying. life seems to get harder everyday, and i felt so wornout that sometimes my patience just snaps and i feel giving up.

but today, i have finally seen a light at the end of the tunnel.

in about two weeks, i would be moving in with my mom, sister and ktn to our new apartment.

yup. finally, i can cut a little off my rent and have the spare money for the other bills.

i'm so thankful, really.

God thank you so much! (",)

you must have heard all my pleas or maybe you've been watching all along how hard i work.

Thanks for the blessings. (",)

Monday, October 16, 2006

getting foolish

I've always been known to be a hasty decision maker... only to recant back what i have said later. yeah. some sort of fickle-mindedness.

but to justify my action, i have to say that ending this relationship wasn't as easy as dropping a hot potato.

i have developed the so-called withdrawal syndrome lately. the more i force myself to stay away, the more i get attracted.

it was actually a battle of wits and feelings. but at the end, i conceded.

i fought love and love won.

isn't it frustrating to be in-love sometimes?...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

how to Lose a guY in 16 months

how to lose a guy in exactly 16 months?

mY so-caLLed lyf

it must have been that `good' life has avoided me altogether. no matter how i try, things don't get better.

seems that the universe has been conspiring against me. things aren't always going my way. and the worse, my plans keep getting stalled by personal issues that get in the way.

i have planned on setting aside relationships completely or putting on hold matters of the heart. but the harder i try, the more i get distracted.

it is like denying it attention is inviting disaster more.

i have calmed down myself over the past disputes. but for now, i'm torn apart. i can't actually decide whether to drop it totally or stay as friends.

i do like him, but my goals are more important. sometimes i just wish i can do both things at the same time.

but i can't. it is just tearing me apart. maybe i should take some downers for the meantime.

sigh.

a `peace' of me

it was such a dreary afternoon.

i actually felt lazy for the most part of the day.

tho' i really felt lousy, got peace of mind. the quietness has actually set my tranquil mood. my mind is clearer than yesterday.

well, maybe 'cuz the pressure was easen up a bit. i do not have to think of what to say nor do i have to make myself feel okay so we could talk both in a sane manner.

we've been in a cold war... and i don't even know where the relationship actually stands at this point.

if my feelings were to be the sole basis, consider that i'm calling it quits. part of the passion was actually fading by the day and each time we come across each other, i just lose the same tenderness inside me.

i can't actually point out at what circumstance the feelings started fizzling out.

i just know i have lost the so-called `appetite' to continue with the relationship. First, it has started getting in the way of my master plan: meaning my goals. Second, i have lost trust that this is going to be lasting. and lastly, he is no longer sure if this relationship is worth his effort and time.

so, what to do in this case?

i have thought hard about it the past few days. and the best answer is just to lose or kill the feelings.

it's not worth it. i have got priorities and he knew it in the first place before he started courting me. another thing is, he is no longer content and happy with the quality time we spend together.

Giving in to his demands would only get my goals compromised.

i could not allow that, ever.

and if he is not meant to stay, then let God do the rest.

He knows what's best for the both of us.

so i guess, this time, i'm giving up and letting go.

and i know that this time, i'm doing the right thing.

Friday, September 15, 2006

secRet shRink

i went to my shrink today.

he was surprised to see me. haven't seen him in quite a while, nor have i talked to him sometime.

upon stepping into his house, i was speechless. he just stared at me, completely clueless at my predicament.

without a word, i sat right in front of him. and suddenly cried.

he was somehow bewildered. maybe he thought i was well years ago.

he laid his hands on my head as i shook in tears.

and in that moment, i felt well again (",).

readers, hope you got the message i'm trying to get across (",).

Saturday, September 09, 2006

dRifting apaRt

a series of small conflicts have set us apart emotionally, recently.

we are drifting apart.

i could not bring my forefinger to my fon's keypad to send him a message saying hi.

guess, i got tired of the cycle, the repeated disputes, making peace and back to the same situation again.

it's kind of draining.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Friday, April 28, 2006

cramming

haven't done much the past few days.

i left my appli forms and docus in a corner a few months back. last time i checked, they've already gathered a month's worth of dusts.

enrollment starts in four months and i haven't had anything finished yet.

i'm starting to get a lil bit worried. i need my folio soon to complete the requirements needed.

how i wish i got enough time to finish all these. *sigh* if only i got all my time free...*sniffs*

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

long overdue

i can't help but be saddened over the turn of events in the Philippines. the country has been gripped by a political crisis that was way long overdue.

mine's just one of the many voices who want to be heard, screaming for the resignation of an illegitimate president who wants to cling on power.

it has been my staunch belief that no leadership can command respect through fear, nor an afraid leadership can lead.

it is bound to meet its doom, and i'm so looking forward to seeing that soon!