greaT things happeN to th0se wh0 waiT

i'm kinda overwhelmed with joy today.

everything was never expected. after breaking my back working my ass off to make ends meet (course, i was exaggerating. it wasn't that desperate *wink*), God finally came to my rescue.

in a month, i have been complaining about all the bills i'm paying. life seems to get harder everyday, and i felt so wornout that sometimes my patience just snaps and i feel giving up.

but today, i have finally seen a light at the end of the tunnel.

in about two weeks, i would be moving in with my mom, sister and ktn to our new apartment.

yup. finally, i can cut a little off my rent and have the spare money for the other bills.

i'm so thankful, really.

God thank you so much! (",)

you must have heard all my pleas or maybe you've been watching all along how hard i work.

Thanks for the blessings. (",)

getting foolish

I've always been known to be a hasty decision maker... only to recant back what i have said later. yeah. some sort of fickle-mindedness.

but to justify my action, i have to say that ending this relationship wasn't as easy as dropping a hot potato.

i have developed the so-called withdrawal syndrome lately. the more i force myself to stay away, the more i get attracted.

it was actually a battle of wits and feelings. but at the end, i conceded.

i fought love and love won.

isn't it frustrating to be in-love sometimes?...

how to Lose a guY in 16 months

how to lose a guy in exactly 16 months?

mY so-caLLed lyf

it must have been that `good' life has avoided me altogether. no matter how i try, things don't get better.

seems that the universe has been conspiring against me. things aren't always going my way. and the worse, my plans keep getting stalled by personal issues that get in the way.

i have planned on setting aside relationships completely or putting on hold matters of the heart. but the harder i try, the more i get distracted.

it is like denying it attention is inviting disaster more.

i have calmed down myself over the past disputes. but for now, i'm torn apart. i can't actually decide whether to drop it totally or stay as friends.

i do like him, but my goals are more important. sometimes i just wish i can do both things at the same time.

but i can't. it is just tearing me apart. maybe i should take some downers for the meantime.

sigh.

a `peace' of me

it was such a dreary afternoon.

i actually felt lazy for the most part of the day.

tho' i really felt lousy, got peace of mind. the quietness has actually set my tranquil mood. my mind is clearer than yesterday.

well, maybe 'cuz the pressure was easen up a bit. i do not have to think of what to say nor do i have to make myself feel okay so we could talk both in a sane manner.

we've been in a cold war... and i don't even know where the relationship actually stands at this point.

if my feelings were to be the sole basis, consider that i'm calling it quits. part of the passion was actually fading by the day and each time we come across each other, i just lose the same tenderness inside me.

i can't actually point out at what circumstance the feelings started fizzling out.

i just know i have lost the so-called `appetite' to continue with the relationship. First, it has started getting in the way of my master plan: meaning my goals. Second, i have lost trust that this is going to be lasting. and lastly, he is no longer sure if this relationship is worth his effort and time.

so, what to do in this case?

i have thought hard about it the past few days. and the best answer is just to lose or kill the feelings.

it's not worth it. i have got priorities and he knew it in the first place before he started courting me. another thing is, he is no longer content and happy with the quality time we spend together.

Giving in to his demands would only get my goals compromised.

i could not allow that, ever.

and if he is not meant to stay, then let God do the rest.

He knows what's best for the both of us.

so i guess, this time, i'm giving up and letting go.

and i know that this time, i'm doing the right thing.