Second Chances

is love really sweeter the second time around? could be. who knows?

i'm not quite sure. but being friends the second time around could really be sweeter.

you see, i have nothing against exes, ex-bfs to be exact. but some of them might have driven you away, really far away that you have to burn "bridges." know what i mean?

but this one's exceptional. i don't really mind putting the past behind if only to save the friendship, and start a beautiful relationship out of the failed one. maybe we are not meant to be in a romantic relationship and a platonic one is better.

recently, i have rekindled that friendship with fei. yep. the last one i had recently said goodbye to. and it was sweet. i mean, in a friendly way.

don't hate me though. both of us know we have broken up just last year. but heck. before that, we were friends. and it feels good being friends again. it really feels good talking to that friend you used to talk to in the middle of the night back when insomnia abounds. it really feels good talking to a lost friend again.

i know nothing about second chances. but i believe in seizing the moment before it's gone. what i know is letting someone stay if life allows it, and unlatching the door so the person you have shut out of your life could reenter and prove himself once more. and maybe, this time, both of you can make a difference.

goodbye, "Snowy"

i have finally found a new owner for "Snowy," a 3-month old Labrador mix pup. and today, i have finally given her away. big relief. whew!

don't hate me, though. i love that pup as well. but the past two months, things have become rough and i have gotten too busy to give her a bath or a brief dog walk, even. so, i let her stay for a while to the former owner, but she became sickly and ugly when i got her back.

in a desperate attempt to make her well, i put her in confinement in a dog and cat hospital, and during her brief stay there, her bills shot up to my regret.

when i finally fetched her, she shed so much of her hair and has become too thin. i don't really know how animals feel when they get into confinement for treatment, but from the looks of it, my pup has become worse.

so, being a busy bee, i have decided to give her away, 'cause with the way she looks, i don't think people would get interested into buying her.

this morning, i went back to her former owner in my intention to give her back so somebody can really take good care of her. but the old man wasn't there.

the boy who helped him sell the dog, however, was present so i asked him if he wants it. as soon as the boy nodded, i quickly tied "Snowy"'s leash on a metal post nearby and bid both of them goodbye.

i wouldn't have given her away if i have enough time to take care of her. it also pains me leaving her that way. two months might not be long enough for me to get attached. but  i took care of that pup just the same, fed her, gave her a bath almost everyday and walked her after getting home.

one thing i realized, it's hard taking care of a pup. it's not easy as 1-2-3. owning a pup or a dog is a lifetime commitment, and it takes a lot of patience, time, and money to get things going smoothly. i paid P5,000 for her hospital confinement, not to mention how costly dog food and medicine/vaccines are. 

i shouldn't have bought her in the first place. well, lesson learned. i have to nip it in the bud before things get worse. for her welfare, for my welfare.

here are "Snowy's" pics when she was still 2-months-old and still healthy looking.

          

cheating landlord and jacked-up water-electric bills

when things fall into place, it's happiness.

today, one of my wishes was granted. been through a lot for the past two months. life was hard. financially. physically. emotionally. but the third one was the hardest.

but today, news came in that i can move in my condo soon. and this time, i would no longer be putting up with the policies of the landlord, paying up jacked-up water consumption bills nor electric bills that don't reflect the least bit of our "REAL" consumption.

that damn cheat. maybe he though he'd go away with it forever. but soon, i would be liberated of this "putting up with the cheat" thing 'just because i could not find a better place closer to my work. soon, gone will be the days of silent misery, cause i already have my own. thank God.

you see, i have dumped all my money into this apartment near my work for almost a decade. twice i tried leaving, but i could not find a better one.

there is nothing wrong with the location nor the fee we pay for the rent. major problem is,  one water meter is being shared by all the other tenants in this whole 4-floor building. and each month, i get a bill that suggests i have a swimming pool right inside my apartment! 

and here's another mystery. only those at the 4th floor (just three tenants) are not allowed to have their own electric meter for each? what a cheat, right? and we don't get a copy of the official electric and water bills ourselves for reference or to have a good close look.

i don't have anything against people who run rental businesses. but some of them are real cheats! we do have an inkling that the tenants are also paying for their water consumption, including electric consumption for so called "maintenance", a.k.a current used for lamps on the staircase shared by all tenants and those in the garage and near the gates.

i could only sigh in disbelief. but now, i don't have to put up with all of these any longer. leaving that apartment would be total liberation from a cheat. i hope things will turn around on him and he would get what he deserves. 

note: if you want to know where and what is the name of this apartment to avoid unnecessary headaches, just e-mail the writer. i would gladly help you identify the place so you won't undergo the same problems i had. to give you a clue, it's a building near the Inquirer office at Yague St. cor Zapote St. in Makati. In comparison to other apartments, it's affordable, but because of the jacked-up water and electric bills, I have been paying double the price of the rent which is P15,000 a month, P7000 for the apartment, P5000 for the electric consumption and P3000 for the water consumption. isn't that injustice?

here's a pic of my soon-to-be home. it's on the third floor of the first building on the left side, near the pool. my unit is facing south, though, so you can not see it on this picture because it is on the other side of the building.
 

... fei ...

wish i am brave enough to follow the desires of my heart. 

that way, life would have been easier, like how things may happen naturally and spontaneously.

 but i am not. things between us have changed. and i should have left them all behind, to start with a clean slate this year.

time must not have been on my side. i never knew we'd see each other again. the whole of last year was a blur and i thought writing you off would end things over.

but no. i was mistaken. and here you come again getting in the way of my recovery. i have promised myself i won't cave in. but with all the strength i have mustered to keep you at bay, away enough from this tender heart, it all went back to the same. that feelings i fought off which mostly kept us together is back with the same degree of tenderness in me. and i hate it.

wish i could finally close the door on you and move on. wish this year, things will be different. i haven't been brave enough to admit my feelings to you. wish i could have told you i want you back in my life, that i have waited for you though i had been wishing you won't come back 'nymore.

wish i could turn away and forget i met you along the way.

wish i could but i couldn't. one thing i ask. just move on. go away and never come back  'cause i might be with someone else, but my heart is still with you just the same.

i'm missing you,fei. wish i could stay the same, but i couldn't stand the distance anymore. it kills me being away from you.

wish i could. but i am not brave enough to follow my heart.