getting the hang of it

it started out with a text message from my aunt and a prospective client. the next thing i knew, i was standing next to the client, talking and getting the 'taste' of how is it like to be in the actual jobsite.

No. it was way too far from having my own interior design. not now. not yet. but already, i felt like i was already doing my very first project. well, that was how it felt.

First off, you wake up early. dress well before you go. check yourself on the mirror. one final look to make sure you are presentable or you're gonna lose that client even before the very first talk.

and so off you go. and when you finally meet her, be professional and friendly at the same time. warm enough to earn her trust but professional enough to stand your ground. somewhat making an impression that you are there to do business in case she missed the part that you're gonna lay out a proposal any time.

it was a 200-square-meter would-be culinary arts training center cum resto-bar on the second floor of an arcade building at the corner of Tandang Sora and Commonwealth in Quezon City. perfect location at that.

i got warm greetings from the two chefs and a beso-beso from the owner. so there. trust was established. then the talk went on naturally. just like meeting a new friend or a new classmate.

and next came the chef's design idea, making sure every detail was absorbed by the would-be designer. but reality check, i wasn't going to be the designer. funny, huh? not at all. 'cause it was like an apprentice on my part. a classmate of mine would be doing the actual design and i get at least 30 percent of the pay plus the on-the-job training from them. clever, don't you think?

the next day, i was back to the place, with my classmate and her boyfriend in tow. there we were talking to the client like real pros. i mean, that was how it felt haha.

i had another appointment earlier. one thing i had to forego in exchange for a dream of a lifetime. i mean, this is gonna be the stepping stone of a dream career. yeah, yeah. i know. i can't do without my writing job. it is what sends me to interior design school, right? but no worries. i take every minute of it seriously. yeah. seriously. i better love what i have now so i can have that job i have been dreaming about...soon.

but going back. the client was nice and all that. but some of her staff members, i mean the people she chose to employ for her culinary arts training center, were there, too, driving a hard bargain. that's what you call haggling, folks.

so the talk that was supposed to last an hour took us at least 2 and half an hour later with just the 3D plan. uh-oh. at least the owner agreed to look at a proposal and things will start from there.

so there. after some more talking, we left chocolate kiss at UP Bahay ng Alumni a little bit satisfied. but we're gonna be back to the site tomorrow in the afternoon. and this time, the actual measuring will take place.

now, what can i say? well, i'm getting the hang of it :))

great lesson

"...let your own discretion be your tutor, suit the action to the word; the word to the action..."

the line on top said it best: caution.

strangers online could never be trusted. so choose those you can really give your trust. 'cause one way or another, though you would be a good play actor, you could be deceived by what seem to be other people's sincerity.

think twice and let the line above be your guiding principle. Look before you leap...trust no one but yourself. looks can always be deceiving.

so next time you go out there, beyond the boundaries of "uncharted waters," be cautious and think of the motives of others. action always speaks louder than words.. cause sometimes, people may say exactly the opposite of what they really mean. He might say i am sincere but he might just be fooling you.

be wiser, people. nakakatakot na ngayon ang mundo. andaming manloloko. trust me and take my word for it. so be careful, especially when dealing with strangers.

as mothers always say, it would be best not to talk with strangers. and believe me, words are the least reliable purveyor of truth.

life is all about discovery, exploring, experience, learning, going places and meeting people

it was just so right discovering different niches other than yours. exploring other places, going places, meeting new people, talking to strangers, mingling with different kinds of crowds other than yours..it was just so right.

getting out of the confines of office life just brought me new realizations...realizations that there's a lot to be discovered out there. i don't wanna be trapped in just one place anymore; no longer want to talk to the same people forever. people need to grow, expand their horizon, explore much as they can, discover the world out there while they can.

there is just too much to explore, to experience. life is all about constant learning, adding people, talking to different people, getting exposed to different environments...life is all about discovery, exploring, experience.

yeah. i just realized that life must be lived out to the fullest. that is the purpose of it.

pseudo-relationships

have not written any entry for my blog for a long time. now i'm back after two months of playing around, i guess.

not that i'm a player. what i mean is, playing along with fools who thought they could fool me back.

nah. not fools actually. they have turned to be good friends now. just that, some guys can't help but be playful sometimes. and i know how to play along, too, without losing at all. just a couple of flirts online who became good friends after a month.

well, i call them "spice of life." a good break from the monotony of work and school. and now that school is over for this term, i suddenly got bored again. and these two flirty friends were on time to add some color to the boring office life of mine.

it does not hurt to have them, though. they were actually schoolmates back in high school. both witty. one being sarcastic and blunt and other a jolly person who knows how to make you feel at home.

oh, well. just a couple of new friends who take the boredom of everyday living hehe.

of lies and flings

met a guy online whom i had been to HS with long time ago. we went to the same school but i have never ever met him personally. well, back in HS, i used to be an anti-social and nerdy plain jane. he told me he had seen me a lot of times 'cause he was a classmate of my brother's, 2 years my junior to be exact.

he tried adding me into his network of friends, probably out of curiosity or must be, i dunno actually. he sent me a message saying hi. well, all too curious who this boy was, i tried answering back asking him if we have met somewhere. indeed we didn't. i never liked younger guys. i mean, i have never preferred younger guys over older guys for a suitor. but i seem to have this kind of problem. attracting guys younger than i am.

but the story behind is this. though this guy looks presentable, i never got attracted. i did not even check his account before to see his pictures. i just approved his invitation. but what caught my eye that led me into commenting into his status one day is his being "businessminded." He was actually putting up a business with his sister i guess and he has been looking for a good location. that caught my eye. other than that, nothing else just got me interested into posting a comment or sending him a message.

but it seemed the universe sometimes throws you a curveball. the lie i have told a suitor i turned down recently seemed to have taken a different turn. a classmate of mine got interested in me and spilled his feelings before Valentine's day. but i don't really like him and i certainly don't wanna go into a relationship at present so i turned him down, giving him the lie i never expected would come true.

i told him someone's already courting me. and suddenly, this guy from the past, a HS schoolmate emerged from somewhere and started flirting with me. i don't really know if he has been meaning to court me though he told me he wanted to.

but how am i gonna let someone i don't know court me? that's being stupid, right? what a way to spend Valentine's Day!

a wo-man without fear is a wo-man without hope

so, anyone who fears nothing? course, nobody does. all of us do fear something. even little things have that effect on us. and you wanna know my fear?

well, i fear a lot of things. but what i fear the most has something to do with accomplishments. i fear not accomplishing something for myself at all. something i can be proud of or something i can call my own. like for example a book i have written, published and have others read in the dead of night. or designing a living room that pleases the client. something like that.

and right now, though i consider 3 milestones last year, i have not accomplished anything yet. i'm talking about interior design. you see. a lot of things are stalling me. there is time constraint. there is the issue of changes, i mean i don't wanna blame some people but partly, it's some people's fault. don't wanna name names here, but i just want to mention that had i been in my major subject this sem, i could have been in my second to the last semester now before thesis writing starts.

i can't help it. i seem to be wasting time. so i have decided to just shift to a nonthesis in my MBA program 'cause i've been staying longer in the grad school anyway. i might as well take that opportunity to study more subjects. but you know what compromise i had to make about this? i won't be getting back to interior design school soon. since i opted to shift to a non thesis track, i still have 3 years more to stay in the grad school. and that only means longer time of waiting before i could go back to PSID.

i don't wanna lose sight of my dream though. i still see myself putting up either a furniture shop of my own or an interior design company of my own.

okay. fine. i'm rambling. and forgive me, but i can't help. just a little frustrated i guess. and so there. i had taken it all out to my blog again for everybody to read. had to go to sleep. night everybody. till next time. 

runaway bride or fear of marriage?

i wonder if i'm the only one who's afraid of marriage. i almost tied the knot thrice (that was when i was younger, impulsive and aggressive at the same time). but for some reason, things didn't quite turn out as planned. i mean, i broke up with all those ex-bfs, and though sometimes it crosses my mind, i still can't bring myself to enter another relationship now.

not that i have not recovered yet. Two years would have been enough to get me ready for another one again. but given the opportunities i have for a possible career shift that will eventually lead to a career path and then finally to a career, i could not trade off my freedom to pursue a dream that has been put off for a long time because of relationships.

i know that i am not ready yet. 

hate me if you want, but i really did break someone's heart two days ago. aside from the fact that i don't really like him, i'm afraid of being tied down again and not getting away with what i want to do for myself. 

i had to do a lot of compromises when i was in a relationship 2 years ago. and though it hurt me too, it helped a lot going single again since 2008. i missed out on a lot of friend bondings before, missed a lot of socialization, job opportunities because of a relationship i have to consider first before doing what comes to mind. 

it is not easy being in a relationship. you give up nights out with friends, parties with officemates, holidays with family, out of towns with your bestfriends and even chat time with acquaintances. you can't even meet new people, or give your number to your groupmates in MBA classes, or you can't even do your job without your bf tagging along, or you can't even do interviews alone. you can't even have time for yourself alone. a lot of comprise. and it's hard work not getting into a fight. especially if your partner is too immature to even have a healthy relationship.

so there. the things i'm afraid of about marriage and relationships are no longer a secret. they are out. those are my fears. freedom getting curtailed, dreams being set aside and privacy or alone time being compromised.

i guess, i am just afraid of marriage. plain and simple. i am not saying i don't wanna get married. course i want to have my own family, too. but i am not ready yet.