change

tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis. i'd never forget this ever.

it was one line that changed my perspective as a person somehow. In the english language, it means "seasons change and we all change with them."

change. the only constant thing in this world. and what good it does to us?

well, a lot, i guess.

from a timid shy girl who grew up in the province, i became a changed woman. life has been simple and boring for a time, but as soon as i got into college and then stepped out into the real world four years later, a lot of things changed my perspective.

conflict. it was one thing that did it. i was once an idealist, a believer of the "almost impossible" thing that can happen in one's life. meeting her soulmate, or someone she's destined to be with for the rest of her life.

until one day, i saw a lot of things i could not believe they exist. i could not talk about them here, but to give you a glimpse of it, consider a same-sex relationship, casual sex between friends, sex between a straight guy and a gay..name it. and most of them shocked me. i was even a hesitant believer.

when i was 18, i just thought of my future, of better things to come, not knowing that a lot of "different things" happen out there. yeah. i was naive, ignorant even. so unaware that human frailties lead others to be doing things i never thought exist.

when i started working for the Inquirer, my eyes were opened to the ugly truths of life. reality. and it bites.

then, the thing that never crossed my mind happened to my family. just months into my job after graduation, rumors went around that my father was having an affair with another woman. well, i did not believe it. but i saw how it changed my father. it was then i had to shed my ideals, and start believing that there is no such thing as close-to-perfect.

i almost believed my family was one of the close-to-perfect families back in the province. we are not affluent. and we are not even always together. but we are happy, just like many of the close-to-perfect families everywhere else.

but that little change in my father led me to accept reality, though it is ugly. and when i came back to Manila, i became a changed woman, looking through things this time in a different perspective.

that we as people are meant to be here not to enjoy life, but to live it. and life is not as beautiful as we expect it to be. it is a matter of perspective, a matter of seeing things.

at the end of one of my MBA subjects last semester, a brilliant teacher left us the story of an egg, a carrot and coffee.

she went on saying that eggs are delicate but becomes hard after getting soaked in a boiling water. on the other hand, hard carrots become soft after an hour or less of boiling, while coffee just perfectly blends with the boiling water.

she asked us which one we do want to become. do we like to be toughened after a lot of problems just like the hard-boiled egg? do we turn soft after getting battered by the "storm" that comes every now and then, just like the carrots? or do we just ride along with the struggles of life just like the blending of coffee with the hot water?

of course, every one wants to be coffee in this case. and now what am i saying?

well, i have just been through a lot of confusion, both job- and relationship-related. but i emerge stronger and more capable of a quality decision each time i get to face heart-breaking or mind-boggling distractions.

change allows us to make adjustments, to study what has been happening around us, and even allows us room to slip into our best selves and continue living to the fullest. it allows us to step back from it all to see a different yet better perspective. something that suits the situation or something that perfectly fits who we are.

i had become bitter for a time after knowing that my family is going to be listed down as part of the statistics of broken homes. but you know what? a lot of better things came in lieu of that.

my brother is a successful lawyer now; another brother, younger than i am, has just taken the bar exam, too, last September; and my sister who took the licensure exam for pharmacists last year landed the sixth spot and is now working in one of the top companies along Ayala Avenue.

Well, as for me, i have discovered how lucky i am being with the Inquirer recently, and i would soon be an interior designer, too, and hopefully i'd be able to put up a little business of my own after graduating from an MBA program at the UST grad school.

see? change can make us better. and if i had not changed my perspective about my present job now, i might have still been looking out for another job.

but now that i am looking through a different perspective, i would say i'd stick it out with the Inquirer till a better job or a career chance comes along.

so, stay happy and at least like, if you can't love, your job. :)