love story

since wala pa namang ginagawa, i might as well tell you a story para naman maaliw kayo. sayang energy, ya know.

let's have a trip down memory lane. i was a frosh at UP Diliman. a wallflower to be exact; someone who was `allergic' to love and boys, but someone who knew how to ogle at them at the same time. proof was the list of crushes i had back then. i'd stay somewhere at the back during class so i could always admire my crushes from a distance. i had even participated in a `gimmick' of an organization back then in which one should tell the residence where the guy she had a crush on was staying, and an assigned member would snap a picture of him.

but in a twist of fate, the one i had grown closest to was the same guy who would break my heart later on. i was known to be a `promdi' girl during my high school years. i was even labeled a 'nerd.' if there'd be someone who'd prefer studying than going out to the JS prom, that would be me. but then again, college life changes people and so i learned how it was to fall in love for the first time. ironically, it was to the same guy who had lived next-door during my college years. a big bonus for me who was really falling slowly in-love at the time.

tall, dark, handsome. name it. and as if fate had been teasing me into it, we grew closer together. i'd be found seated beside him on the grass on a weekend night and we'd talk about the future under the moonlight. it was all between bestfriends. he'd talk about a girl he really liked, and though i'd be feeling disgusted inside, i'd feign i was happy about him. then i'd tell a make-believe story about a boy i had a crush on. well, talk about being a liar. familiar with taylor swift's song `teardrops on my guitar'? the story of the girl was the same story i had back in college.

however, falling in love with my would-be bestfriend at the time was the last thing on my mind. reason is, we had grown closer to each other like real siblings. and losing the friendship would be the most painful thing to happen. how had we come to know each other, you ask? then here's the story.

it was one cold december night. i was a big fan of eraserheads and i was one of the students who first lined up to buy tickets in a booth. my date had not shown up and the first thing that came to mind was to call someone who was a fan of the band, too. back then, pj and me were just mere acquaitances. i was introduced to him on the phone by my landlady's daughter who was bestfriends to his cousin. and him being the nearest person available, i crossed my finger and dialled his number. luckily, he didn't have a ticket and i offered him mine. course it wasn't for free.

funny thing is, on that night, it would be the first time we'd be seeing each other in person. so he came to the house i was staying in. there was a knock on the door and i started getting nervous. remember, i was going out with someone i had only known through the phone, though his cousin tirelessly told me he was a good-looking and intelligent guy. and the description fit my standard right. yeah. i prefer a moreno guy over a fairly-skinned boy.

i took a deep breath and practically wiped my sweaty palm against the fabric of my pants. then i seized the door handle and slowly turned the knob. curiosity made me take a peek first. i saw two guys standing at the doorstep. both were moreno but one was tall and the other stocky.

i had the hunch he was the tall guy wearing a baseball cap. he had that mysterious smile like monalisa's *kidding*. though i wasn't sure if he was feeling shy at the time, or he was as curious as i did.

''are you pj?'' i inquired. ``no. it was him,'' he said pointing his finger to the guy beside him. and when i was about to pop another question to his company, he interrupted at once and said, ''i was kidding. i'm pj. nice meeting you by the way,'' he said and smiled.

i took his hand when he offered a handshake. well, i knew back then my palm was sweaty and cold. so i shook his hand briefly. upon stepping out onto the street, his company bid us goodbye and left. we were with three of my friends. and as we walked on the misty and grassy footpath leading to the concert ground on the sunken garden, both of us were silent. i looked fine, but inside, my heart was throbbing heavily. it felt as though it wanted to pop out of my chest. yeah. i was freakingly nervous at the time.

i had never gone out in a date before. and though it was a casual thing to go out with friends, i considered that as my first blind-date. he stood 5 foot 8 and i was a petite 5 foot 3. and so when i talked, he had to lean over to understand what i was saying. topics of conversation came in trickles. till we reached the concert ground and the feeling of tension was drowned by the shrill screams of the crowd.

i took the tickets out of my pocket but both accidentally fell to the ground. i tried getting them back instantly but his hand was quicker than mine. our hands touched and it felt like an electric current shoot down my spine.

when i looked up, he was staring right into my eyes. it was then i realized he's got the most gorgeous eyes i'd ever seen. it took me a while to avert my gaze. good thing the crowd started to get wild as the band members emerged from the backstage. so there i was jumping and screaming at the same time. i had a big crush on buddy zabala, the bassist of the band, at the time and seeing him helped me shook off the feeling i had with pj on that night. though it was a weird feeling, it felt indescribable just the same.

the concert drew to a close. at 2 a.m., we started heading back home. i was at a total loss for words. the thing is, it might be because of the concert or because of pj. i dunno what struck me that night. all i knew was i met someone who was really different from all of the crushes and guys i have met. one: pj is intelligent. two, conversation-wise, he was not bad. dead air in betwee is not so unusual when both of you have just met. and three, our minds connect. you pop a question and the conversation just takes its own course. i felt we could talk forever.

the group decided to sit down for a while and have a little talk on the grass covering the elevated part of the sunken garden. though i felt cold, i agreed. in my head, it would be the last time i'm gonna be talking to a great guy, so i took the chance of knowing pj more. talking to him was so easy. it was like starting a sentence and have him finish it. we were good vibes. so we clicked at once.

we talked mostly about trivial things. and the funny thing is, pj's personality attracted me at once. i could not describe how i felt about him but i knew i was starting to like him. he plays the guitar. he said he draws. and the way he talks, he's got substance. i prefer the artist-type of guy. someone who's got depth and an inclination to music and the arts. maybe because i am an artist myself. though my creativity leans more on the design side, i guess, what got us together so easily is the fact that we are both artists by nature.

we see things on the same perspective; it was like finding a match by random. what a concidence, isn't it? how do i knew our minds travel on the same wavelength. well, i told you. it was like singing a song and have him recite the lyrics.

so that was how i met him. by the time we reached our homes, it was time to say goodbye. feelings of sadness washed over me. ``this is going to be a sad goodbye,'' i told myself, faking a big smile saying it was nice to have met him and talked to him for a little while.

``i enjoyed the night with you. thanks for coming,'' i told him, extending my hand.

he held my hand and shook it. then he looked me in the eye and smiled. i felt like melting in that moment. but it would be a disgrace to give it away. so i just turned my back and stood by the door.

just then, my friend came closer and talked me into asking a favor from pj. unfortunately, it was too late for her friends to go home. at past 3 in the morning, there won't be any cab coming into the campus anymore. and it would be a problem for the both of us to let her guy friend sleep in an all-girls apartment.

i was sure my eyes glistened upon hearing the bad news. so i walked mechanically toward pj as the smile that crossed my lips grew wider. i whispered into pj's ear as my friends watched in silence. when pj flashed a thumbs up to them, i knew then our story had begun.

(to be continued)