condolence...

i feel a little sad today. it's because somebody's mother died...of breast cancer. i am talking about my ex-(boyfriend of 3 years).

see. i don't feel bitter about our breakup anymore. and it's been 8 months since we last talked. the breakup was a little sour but 2 months after that, i felt better. and i no longer feel the same feeling of attachment.

but hearing about him wailing over his mother's death on her deathbed pulled at my heartstrings. i feel sorry for him.

yeah. i wasn't the one who left him. he was. but somehow, i feel sad for him. Three years of being with him was something more than just a relationship. he was there when i was down. somehow, he was the one who helped me up when i was 'spiraling.' he shared his strength when i was weak. he did a lot of things for me. but i can't do the same thing now that we're off. i just hope that girl who is keeping him company would do a better job being more than just a girlfriend. 'cuz he really needs her right now.

maybe i would not have the gall to personally tell him this, but i want him to know i feel sad just the same. i may not be feeling the same kind of anguish inside me, but there is this sinking feeling of sadness. maybe because i found his parents nice and kind.

so i'm writing down that i feel sorry but all i could do now is pray for his mother. and if you're gonna read this by chance, i wanna say, condolence. be strong and pray.